The shade of it all

This subject is a delicate one.  I believe stongly that people are people.  Race and culture influence us all.  However,  it's a small fraction of our true existence.  In the black community, Indian, and Hispanic we have gone as far as separating ourselves even further by the shade of skin.  Sounds ridiculous but it is very real.  It was a time that this seem prodominate in the black male with the women he chose to pursue.  But as we have evolved as a people and black women have adopted the skin tone theory as well.  We can turn on our televisions and see mostly black women who have a higher social status dating and marrying fair skinned men.  Even our own First Lady is among these women.  Before you chew me up and spit me out just think about it Oprah, the women on Alanta house wives, Star Jones and J Hud.  The men that these women chose weren't even their equals financially.  Arm candy is not just for guys anymore.  It could be that back women are tired of competing with women of non color.  Perhaps they have adopted the thought "can't beat em join them".  So our star of Scandle said light skinned?   Give me a white man.  Robin Thickes wife seems like a very happy women.  Women do the choosing and men do the chasing.  Are we choosing according to a lowered self esteem or our we being driven by the ego.  Or could it possibly be a matter of preference?

Love: Why do they come back?

Love: Why do they come back?: Some of us are very familiar with the "break up to make up" relationship. Oh you know the relationship that resembles the Baby Boy scene wh...

Why do they come back?

Some of us are very familiar with the "break up to make up" relationship. Oh you know the relationship that resembles the Baby Boy scene where Jody slaps his girl then the next scene is a passionate love session. The big question is WHY? Why do many women and some men run right back to the person they swore off of? Is the love making that good? Are they addicted to being mistreated? Does the fear of being alone trump everything else? For some all of the above but for most one trumps the other. Fellas, women can definitely function being single but trust they don't want to. Oddly a lot of women walk away from the man they categorized as a scrub to walk into the arms of another scrub. It's not easy looking in the mirror and facing the fact that you get what you put out . A lot of women go to the victim role but the truth is men do the chasing but women do the choosing. So a women may find herself ping pinging back and forward between bad to worse. It's true you can be addicted to love. Especially that of a person who for some reason just does it for you. Ladies the sad part is if a man isn't that into you but knows you addicted.....you will be drug on a long string until he gets tired of walking you. Oh, and sorry this is true even if there are major fireworks in the boom boom room. It is what it is a man will only change for "the one". If over the course of your relationship you have scene no change the your not "the one". Finally there's fear. It only comes to do 3 things to kill, to steal, and to destroy. The fear of being alone can be ironically suffocating. So many will go back not to experience that feeling. The worse is to be hit with all at once. This combo will have the most refined and dignified ladies taking earrings off and meeting the other women at her job. Anyone, can fall victim to the boomerang relationship but needy people seem to stay in them. These people lack true love from within and frankly this fills that void. The truth is rather your the boomerang or the tossed its unhealthy for all parties involved mentally and potentially physically. So if you left once...twice.. numerous times before. Before you thrust back in again stop. Remind yourself why you left in the first place. Love Mzchynudol

Ladies Beware! Cuddle season is upon us....

The leaves are turning colors and falling. You reluctantly packed away your sun dresses and short shorts. Guys have traded their wife beaters for button ups and Tims. The last thing is turning the thermostat from cool to heat and leaving it on auto. Sure these are all signs of the fall season coming and going and making way for winter. However, ladies and gents it's pre season to cuddling season! Yes that's right men are preparing for boo'd up season. Time for him to narrow down the starting five and answer a dreded question. "Which one of these chicks can I tolerate for 3-4 months on a semi daily basis". Tina Turner sang it best "What's Love got to do with it?" Nothin, so Miss don't get your hopes up if you haven't herd from him in 6 months and he starts liking your fb pics. Even if he starts texting how much he misses you. Why didn't he miss you last month when sap was rising and the sun was harrassing shining? I'll tell you why because he wasn't thinking about you that's why! Now, however he needs a cuddle partner. Preferably one who will cook, is pretty clean, and he won't want to run away from after a rump around. In the summer he wanted a slim shady. Fall and winter he'll settle for voluptuous vixen even going into the relms of fat. He doesn't plan to go nor be scene too many place as it get's closer to winter any way. There is nothing wrong with cuddle buddy season. As long as you know come April the contract will become null and void. Ladies find someone who wants you for the rough season and the not so rough seasons. If you haven't herd from him in months but all of a sudden he's your number 1 fan evaluation is in order. Depending on location to his other boo's you may still be on a rotation just less frequent and with a smaller number. It's up yo you cuddle up with him or cuddle up with yourself till someone worthy of your warmth comes along. LOVE Mzchynudol

Love: 10 signs he's not the 1...

Love: 10 signs he's not the 1...: 1. If you've been dating 6 months to a year and you can count on your fingers the number of times he's invited you over. Chances are he is...

Love: what is love?

Love: what is love?: Women are in search of 1 man to satisfy all her needs. Men look for every women to satisfy their 1 need. Do men even want love? Of co...

Love: 10 signs he's not the 1...

Love: 10 signs he's not the 1...: 1. If you've been dating 6 months to a year and you can count on your fingers the number of times he's invited you over. Chances are he is...

Love: Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you an...

Love: Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you an...: " It's not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean"is a classic right ladies! It's very true unless your mini me is a super mi...

Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and Me!

" It's not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean"is a classic right ladies! It's very true unless your mini me is a super mini me. Then Fellas you must up your game by 10 in all other departments. Yes it is 2012 and some ladies still fake orgasms! There are also women including married women who have never achieved an orgasm...at all. Something very wrong with this picture..but ladies you can't put all the blame on your man. Your just as responsible as he is..remember "know thy self" Clearly quite a few of you do not. There can be soo many reasons you may not achieve 1. THE MAIN REASON FOR MOST WOMEN is the mental state. So many women are told at a young age that sex is a horrible thing. Mostly by a caring parents. One who doesn't want to be a grandparent at 37. Other reasons include emotions, physical attraction and positioning. Most women still need an emotional connection to their partner. Most men don't need an emotional connection to their partner at all. Maybe it is the womens duty to uphold the morals of the world....So the emotional card or the lack thereof for men is why a man can still have orgasm happy, mad, and yes even sad. Where as if a women is having a bad day he may too cause nothing is going down that night. For some women attraction plays a key. Not that he has to be 6'2 Reggie Bushesq but every women has a male type that gets her moist. It could be Tom Cuise to Rick Ross. Every women is different the attraction can very well be the males role in society or his ability to provide. If it's not there it can also add to a women not acheiving the big O. Men also have an "ideal" but that doesn't mean he won't still go out and and have his fun with the "non ideal" several times. Yes even the ones he would never openly speak to in public. To a man this ladies becomes an assisted masturbation partner..he doesn't care about the package just wants to get inside. Positioning can change the game up for everyone involved. Not every position works for everyone. What one women may deem as painful another will see as blissful. You have to know what works for you. Just as important as position is the rhythm. Some women are team jack rabbit. They enjoy a fast pace constant thrust while others are team slow grind. They enjoy something that looks like a dance off of one of Rhiannas videos. She needs to know what works best for her and tell her partner. It may not be his favorite rhythm but he can get back to his once her song has reached it's climax. Overall, sex is like beauty it lies in the eye of the beholder. If you make an adult choice to engage in it..you should enjoy it! If your married you should enjoy it times 10! It's 2012 and ladies you should vote yes for orgasms! They're not just for men any more. Love MzChynudol®jyou

10 signs he's not the 1...

1. If you've been dating 6 months to a year and you can count on your fingers the number of times he's invited you over. Chances are he is not the 1. If a guy is into you he values time with you. He esp values alone time and wants you to get to know him Exceptions to the rule if he happens to stay with his mom or "she lives with him". 2. When your around him you feel a lower scense of self. Your man should challenge you to think at the most but, you should never feel less than in his presence. If you have a history of low self esteem you should find someone who is encouraging and sees the best qualities in you. 3. There is a saying "a zebra never looses it's stripes". Past history usually dictates future behavior. People can change but they have to have a strong desire to change. If he has a history of any sort cheating, mental/physical abuse, womanizing be prepared to endure what the chicks before you broke free from. 4. If your falling in love but you feel your dating yourself. This means you feel little support from your guy. If you can't depend on him finacially, emotional, or spiritually that may pose a problem. Of course you should 1st give these things to yourself but you should feel confident if there is a need for 1 he can pick up the slack periodically. 5. Tick tock tick tock. Show me where a man spends his time I'll show you his treasure. Meaning men value their time. What ever he spends his time doing the most is what he values the most. If your in a relationship but he never can find time for you...you may not be a priority in his life. 6. This and number 5 go hand and hand the "quality" of th time you do spend together. Is he always texting when you are alone? Does he consider the things you like to do? Will he cancel his plans for yours from time to time? Is he supportive of the events and things important to you? 7. Your friends and family indicators. I will be the 1st person to say "live your life". However, friends and family can be great indicators. Does he get along with any of your family members? If so which ones and what's the driving force behind their bond? If you have children how do they act around him? What are their thoughts when he's not around? 8. Speaking of family how is his relationship with his mom? Have you met her within your courtship? How does she speak to and about her son? How does he speak to and about his mom? A guys relationship with his mom is the first relationship he has with a woman. If that relationship is estranged..good luck. Just remember no matter how badly he talks about his mom you still stay nuetral. She's still his mom. 9. Most man value what they do and how they can provide. This is why few men marry women who make more money than they do. As women we measure according to our relationships and family. Men the complete opposite. If he finacially depends on you be prepared for resentment and a rocky relationship. Granted we all hit walls and can't control our finacial status sometimes. Of course he wants you to hold him down if things get tight. Just not a forever thing. So if your always footing the bill don't look to get money thrown at you if and when he attains. Most likely he will go for the girl he couldn't get because he didn't have the money or stability. 10. Last but not least he's not the one if you don't want yourchildren (present future) to be like him. As women we always dream big for our children usually more than we do for ourselves. Ask yourself..would I want my daughter to date a guy like him? Do I want my son to be like him? If no then you hav to ask yourself what qualities are important to you and why have you settled?

what is love?

Women are in search of 1 man to satisfy all her needs. Men look for every women to satisfy their 1 need. Do men even want love? Of course! Every human wants to be loved. The important thing to know is women fall in love men look for love. Sounds crazy right ladies? It's not it's the truth. As women we date a guy and see if he feels our qualifications. We slowly fall in love with man they make a choice. Yes just like ordering at a restaurant. I'll have a burger,soda, oh and let me get a side of love..yes I want love. That may be exaggerated but not by much. Men usally judge themselves on their work not their love relationships like women. So love is more of a logical choice. He thinks better seek love don't want to be old an alone..better seek love I need to sew my seed in the world...better find love tired of washing the dishes lol! I know you've herd of guys who were in a relationship for years. They broke up and he married the next women in less then a year of meeting. It's very simple he was ready and made a choice to open his heart to love. Don't kill the messenger here but if your man isn't programmed for love nothing you can do will change that. So if you have a guy who only speaks "woof woof" run now! You can save yourself some heart ache now. However, if your the lucky women who caught him once he flipped the switch hold onto him...it's going to be a bumpy ride. We all have different love languages if yours aren't the same you might as well be speaking to your spanish neighbor. The 1 who speakano Enlish. Your man's love language could be give me, stroke me, help me or touch me. Mind out of the gutter they just sound naughty but are actually quite sweet. It's up to you to find out what makes your man feel loved. He also should make the effort to find out what makes your heart thump. Of course we all can be a combination but usually 1 stands out more. If your guy is a "give me" type he feels loved when you give to him. The value of the item is not always important. It's the idea of you giving him something the idea of you thinking of him when you see an item. He loves gifts and can even turn into a little kid when you bring him a new gift. If this is your man you'll know because birthdays and Christmas are his favorite events. If your guy is a "stroke me" lover he feels loved when you stroke his....EGO! The more you tell him he's smart, strong, and the king of the castle the more he feels loved. Ladies we're talking about guys and they all love ego stroking but this guys needs it to feel loved. He wants to know and hear how proud you are he took the trash out. He wants to know you wouldn't have been able to get the oil changed with out him. If your guy is the "help me" type he feels loved when you make an effort to help and support him. He's the guy who makes a plan and wants his women to say "what do you want me to do hun?" He's the guy who likes to pay the bills together and go shopping "together" He also likes his women to be a great listener. It helps to give him feed back and input that can help him when he asks. Our final guy is the "touch me" guy. Pretty self explanatory but it doesn't have to be sexual. He really likes to be touched on the arm, caressed on the back of the neck. Intamacy is an important part of love for this guy. He may be very comfortable an in touch with his feminine side. With this guy a great massage after a long day of work can scream "I love you" to him. Now that you have the languages...go try and speak to yo man.... LOVE Chynudol